Aug 4, 2005

Woke up this morning and could not even open the bedroom door. The pain is unbearable and it brought me to tears. Obviously I cannot drive to get to the lab. Dre gave me attitude today about it – I don’t think he believes me. I am so pissed and disappointed on top of all this.

Strong

I’m strong – that’s what you say
You make me think – what is being strong – what is strength?
Strong in your eyes means not complaining, being quiet, not saying what I’m really feeling. I know you don’t understand and can’t even being to.

Strong in my eyes means not complaining, being quiet, not saying what I’m really feeling so as not to scare you because you really don’t understand. Trying to be strong for you. Knowing that any day now you will be gone and I will be alone. Alone in my suffering, pain, and heartache. Alone to be strong.

Strong, strength – what a cliché from the people who don’t really care about you. The people who hold you up on a pedestal because of your strength will not be there in your pain and solitude because of your weakness. Weakness, strength – two polar opposites – but why?? It’s a fine line like love and hate, pain and normalcy, weakness and strength.

In others eyes, strength is not being vocal about how you feel and turning the other cheek. In others eyes, weakness is a disease they do not want to hear because it will bring them down and make them feel guilty for not caring enough.

Strong – hush
Weak – speak your mind!

Say what you feel

I wish I had someone I could be strong and weak with :'(